How to contact me? How to contact a Dominatrix?

I hesitated for a long time before I decided to write an article on this matter. You might be thinking, ‘’Why should anyone have to give advice on how to contact a dominatrix? ‘’

And yet, on all the messages that I receive, by mail and on whatsapp, the majority still are just "hi" or "hello"; sometimes a few more words, but still far too little to make me ever want to meet these people.

I started to dominate professionally in my hometown Paris in 2014, and moved to Hong Kong towards the end of 2017, I have traveled a lot in recent years, and yet this matter can be seen across the world.

I detail here the way I like to be contacted and why. My reasons are personal but rational and reasonable – all Dominatrix like to receive more than a single word.

When I receive these empty messages, I have to always remind them the questions that all subs have to answers (listed on my site). Yet, many people seems to not understand and try to avoid this hardcore exam. Sometimes I even experience the definition of rudeness, or people that still stuggle to answer in a full sentence. As if writing a proper sentence with subject + verb + supplement will burn their fingers.

Why do I request an email or message that answers my questions?

No, this is not a first test of my domination over you.

No, I am not trying to measure your submission level by observing your reaction. No, I do not give you a rating based on the answers given.

And No, there are no wrong answers.

So why ?

Because I want to know you.

On my site, there are 7 questions, 6 relate only to the sub requesting the session, including his practices, his taboos or his possible health problems.

Why do I want to know so much, will you say to me? Because I consider that there are as many BDSM practices as there are practitioners, and so it is essential for me to know if our practices/fetishes are more or less similar in order to prepare an all around excellent session.

Some dominatrixes - and they are rare - practice all existing BDSM games (I would not say they do 'everything', sexuality being a field is simply too vast to make this generalization.) In the BDSM world, we can say that they offer practically all possible practices/fetishes : from soft to hard, sadistic or gentle, psychological humiliation or physical torture.

Saying this does not mean that there are no other spectrum: BDSM is not just about practices that we use as a cooking recipe. It is also about appreciating the games that are being played, the way in which the dominatrix will "bring" this or that practice into the session, and of course the way the submissive reacts to it.

There are as many practitioners as there are bdsm practices, but I also think that there is a thousand ways to act them out and to push the subs to give up control and fall into esctasy.

Other dominatrixes are specialized in one or more practices: some only offer spanking, others only strapon and some others hypno. In this case, it seems all the more obvious to to see if the dominatrix and submissive are on the same wavelength. For my part, it is easier to mention what I do not practise. I do not currently practice what is scat and needles. I prefer to explore other practices that I like more.

That said, I wish my sessions are also as enjoyable for me as for my subs , that's why I only allow the sessions to take place only if I am willing.

For example, with regard to public humiliation: I like it, but it depends on what kind of humiliation the subs are looking for, in what context and especially if there are chemistry between my sub and I. For example, I would be more inclined to perform a session of public humiliation if it is held with a sub whom I already know in previous private sessions, subs whom I trust.

One of the questions I get the most is whether I'm available today at a certain time. I will not answer this question before knowing if I would like to host a session with you: What are your expectations and your experience of BDSM? Who are you ? Why did you choose me? What do you like about my profile? I do not want to receive a thesis detailing your point of view on BDSM, but you will certainly win points if you address me in a polite, respectful manner ... and that you explain to me your approach in a few words.

Moreover, if I realize that a sub who has contacted me has not read my site and therefore has no idea who I am, what I demand and offer, than most probably I will never accept to meet you ! Why would I meet someone who does not bother to know if we share the same practices? This is important for the session to take place, but also for security reason - to respect the limits of the subs and those of the dominatrix. Yes, dominatrixes also have their limits, they are also human beings (Except that they are superior!). Does this sub think that all dominatrix are similar, that all sessions are equal? In this case, I would think that this person may not know what he is talking about ... and it is better that we stop the exchange.

Here are the questions I listed on the Contact page of my site:

- Your name and age

- Your BDSM experience (what you experienced, if you think you are beginner, intermediate, regular, hard)

- Your BDSM practices or for novices, your BDSM fantasies

- The limits that you absolutely do not want to exceed

- Your potential health problems

- References of Dominatrixes met previously

- The website where you found me

An example of an answer could be:

Hello Mistress Euryale,

My name is V., I'm 40 years old, I live in Hong-Kong. I practice BDSM since I'm 25, so far only in the private with a partner. I once realized a session with Maitresse X in Hong Kong.

I visited your website, which I found on […], and appreciated [...] and [...], so I thought about contacting you. I hope you will study my candidacy and offer me a session.

I would say that I am an intermediate level sub, having practiced a lot [...] and [...], but being always curious to test my limits with regard to [...] and [...]. I know that I am not ready to try [...] and [...], these practices remain for the moment a taboo.

Due to a hip injury a few years ago, I am no longer able to lie on my side for long, or to practice bondage around this area.

I am available in general on Wednesday and Friday, I would be honored to meet you as well next Wednesday in the afternoon if possible.

I thank you in advance for your response.

And if you hesitate (despite reading this post) on how you should approach the dominatrix you like, remember that too much politeness will not cause you to be on the blacklist of a Dominatrix... but rudeness will !